


Two Evils

by toque



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Obi-Wan needs a hug too let's be real, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:48:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21670009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toque/pseuds/toque
Summary: Anakin thinks about the implications of taking Ahsoka as a Padawan during war times.Takes place after Christophsis.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Padmé Amidala/Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 15
Kudos: 158





	Two Evils

Anakin left the Council meeting off-balance. It was as if someone had lifted the blinders and he could truly see what was going on. The last half of the meeting he hadn’t even heard what Master Windu was saying.

_Padawans in war._

Christophis had given him the first example, and he’d loved Ahsoka with an immediacy that frightened him after their rocky start, but all he could think of was himself at nine, willing to risk his life to help people he’d never met.

It was still hard to think about his earliest days as a Jedi. All the fear and uncertainty that had taken years for Obi-Wan to help him move past.

After Naboo, after Qui-Gon’s funeral, had been the first time he and Obi-Wan had truly talked. At the Temple, Obi-Wan had eventually told him why he’d been upset that Anakin had been at Naboo--and it wasn’t because of Anakin. He’d still been upset with Master Qui-Gon. 

Now Anakin understood why.

His anger was like a beast in his chest, rumbling to life. The realization that the Jedi would willingly send children into a warzone a slap in the face to everything he’d slowly come to believe about the Order. His own offer on Tatooine had been a freak chance, and he’d slowly accepted that the Jedi wouldn’t expect him to throw his own life on the line when any hint of trouble showed. Or, at least, Obi-Wan wouldn’t. Now, he didn’t know what to think.

He stopped by the floor-to-ceiling windows and watched the skyline, trying to find any semblance of order in his racing thoughts. When he noticed his right hand was trembling he tightened it in a fist.

Images from Geonosis flashed through his mind, and he imagined Ahsoka trying to face Dooku as Anakin watched helplessly from the floor, arm gone in a blaze of pain.

Ahsoka in the arena, where less than a quarter of the Jedi who had entered left alive.

The clones--the men-- _his men--_ and what kind of hypocrite was a Skywalker to command men who had serial numbers instead of names--had been bad enough.

There was no reasonable explanation for them as far as Anakin was concerned. But they existed, and he’d accepted the reasoning of the Council, that the Jedi would be better than other commanders. More compassionate. After interacting with the Senate, how could he disagree? 

But seeing Ahsoka next to them, a teenager somehow simultaneously older and younger than the oldest clone, already beginning to order men to their deaths had reminded him just why he’d argued against it.

Anakin thought he’d made his choice long ago. But maybe he’d been wrong. He’d already begun questioning his place with the Jedi--his marriage to Padme was proof enough of that. And he’d never thought himself a coward.

The Council filed out when the sun was just beginning to set, taking the turbolift in twos and threes to their own destinations. Anakin waited for Obi-Wan often enough that none of the other members spared him a glance except Plo Koon, who nodded genially when Anakin met his masked gaze in the window’s reflection.

Obi-Wan came to a stop beside him, giving a cursory glance at Anakin’s shaking sleeve. He didn’t say anything, and Anakin was glad he wouldn’t have to unclench his teeth to speak. Instead, Obi-Wan lowered the shields he kept in place around their bond, gently sending a thread of _curiosity/concern_ to Anakin.

Anakin replied with his impressions of Ahsoka, 14 and fresh from the creche battling droids, along the faintest hint of his own fear in the image of how close she’d come to death when they were surrounded.

To his surprise, Obi-Wan reached out and took his mechanical hand while he sent a brief image that shook Anakin to the core.

_Obi-Wan stood on the rocky surface of a planet, surrounded by children. He hadn’t lost the baby fat from his cheeks and a frayed Padawan braid hung behind his ear but the serious expression he wore and the lightsaber in his hand gave away how deadly he was already. Though the image was lined in blue, the memory from an old holo, it was obvious that his robes were singed and torn in places, and one burn mark on his sleeve looked like it came from a blaster. The small girl that stood on his right was staring down the camera with the same intensity as Obi-Wan, but most of the other children had small smiles on their faces._

The image faded and Anakin knew there were tears on his cheeks. That Ahsoka wasn’t an anomaly--hadn’t been for years, apparently, finally made his decision. “I’m leaving.”

Obi-Wan nodded. “It’s getting late, we should get back to our rooms.”

“No. The Order.”

Their bond was still open, so Anakin had the dubious pleasure of feeling Obi-Wan’s thoughts grind to a stop. The total silence was as jarring as an injury, and he watched Obi-Wan blink in the window before he seemed to process what Anakin had said. Obi-Wan’s side of the bond snapped shut and his reply was as bland as military rations. “If that is truly what you want, Anakin, of course I won’t stop you.”

“It’s not about what I _want,_ Obi-Wan.” Anakin was surprised to hear his own voice come out as a snarl, but Obi-Wan remained steadfast. “I need to. _Now_.” 

“It’s your decision to make. A Jedi may leave the Order whenever they choose.”

Feeling particularly vicious, Anakin snipped back. “And a slave may run any time they choose. But if you leave, who are your friends? Who takes care of you if you’re young? What are the survival rates of Padawans who left the Order? Initiates who left the Agricorp? You don’t even know if you have guardians that are willing to take you back after they _willingly gave you up._ ”

Obi-Wan reeled as if struck, and the mask finally cracked. “Do you think I like it any more than you, Anakin?”

Anakin squeezed his eyes shut before he could snip back. He was vaguely glad Obi-Wan had already withdrawn from the bond. “No,” he said quietly.

Both Jedi stared out over Coruscant a long moment. Anakin gathered his presence as close as possible, but kept his side of the bond ajar. If he left, they really would have to break it.

Through the crack, he felt it when Obi-Wan’s stoicism morphed into determination.

Obi-Wan’s breath came out a long sigh as he scrubbed his hands over his face. “For once, Anakin, I believe you have the right of it.”

“So you give your blessing?” Anakin couldn’t help the tease in response, even if it was half-hearted.

“No.”

He finally broke eye contact with Coruscant’s horizon, looking over in confusion.

“Obi-Wan?”

His old Master met his gaze with a small smile. “How could I give my blessing for you to leave the Jedi if I don’t intend on being one myself?”

**Author's Note:**

> Mostly, I was thinking about how two people who have had significant trauma about children in perilous situations should have reacted to a 14-year-old being sent to join them in a fucking _war zone_. Really, maybe the Jedi should have held off on the whole Padawan thing until they weren’t regularly being sent into battle. Or, you know, not given military titles to teenagers.
> 
> Yes the Jedi have sent Padawans into dangerous situations before, even other war zones. It’s pretty much how the galaxy turns. The difference was that the Jedi were being sent into situations that they had reason to believe could be resolved, and it would be likely that only more senior/experienced pairings would be sent on the most dangerous missions. But giving _children_ military ranks and command of the Republic’s own slave army? Oof. Could the Jedi have done anything about it in canon? Probably not, because Palpatine ensured that the Jedi _couldn’t_ do a lot.
> 
> I might continue this eventually, but for now it's just a quick what-if.


End file.
